Lonely Heart Trumpers

Poor Trumpers.  Apparently they can’t find anyone to go out with and share a shoulder to cry on.

What?  You mean to say that you’re not “date bait” once you align yourself with … a vile-red-MAGA-hat-wearing, lying, voter-suppressing, anti-women’s-rights, genital-grabbing, fascist, racist, misogynist, isolationist, family-separating, economy-wrecking, job-stultifying, wage-stagnating, oligarch-backing, international-murder-supporting, campaign-mob-violence-inciting temporary resident in our White House?

Oh my … what’s a horny Trumpist to do?

Well … suck it up Right-Winger-of-my-Heart!  Shudder-shudder … there’s now a place just for you.


Rushing to the rescue of these lonely-heartless Trumpers are three dating sites… one claiming to “Make America Date Again” … how quaint is that?

Trump.Dating … DonaldDaters.com … TrumpSingles.com.

Why risk wasting a totally mediocre Trump Steak dinner and a bottle of the finest Trump Champagne on someone who turns out to be a Bernie Bro … or Hillary Hawk?

Or worse … a climate–change-believing-Green-Partier?


DonaldDaters won the distinction of being the first site to launch for “Date-a-Trumpers.” Within days, it also lost all its users’ data.  Yep … that was a quite a “Launch-and-Crash.”

Web maestros at DonaldDaters are reportedly trying to blame the leak on a 300-pound-Cheeto-eating-basement-dweller.  But we all know it was those pesky rogue “Blue-Bros” … operating under the aegis of Hillary and her “Lock-Her-Up-Servers.”


The Donald himself would quickly be ousted as a member of the sites.

Grounds for terminating your membership include use of hate speech or other offensive language …  so, looking at someone’s photo and telling them … “I want to “grab your p***y” … would probably lead to your demise.

Likewise offensive language based on “physical or mental disability” (like mocking a NYT journalist) … “national origin or ancestry” (like Pocahontas) … “race, color, religious creed” (like maligning all religious and ethnic minorities) … would be “Goodbye, Donald” offenses.

As for good old American family values … you can feel safe that homophobia is digitally alive and well … at least on Trump.Dating.  They don’t care if you’re married or single … but evidently answering “yes” to being gay is auto-kick-out status.


My guess is that if I were seeking the company of a morally bankrupt fascist, I could save some bucks and dating time by cruising through the Trump sites.

Fortunately I’m secure in my Socialist-Left-Wing-Open-Borders-Everything-Free lifestyle.

Good thing November 6th is right around the corner … one can always cast a vote for a better way.

Just sayin’ …

One thought on “Lonely Heart Trumpers

  1. Damn, Richard! It isn’t even Halloween yet and yet you just served up the SCARIEST plot line EVER….inbreeding trumplodites! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Comments are closed.