“Say Yes to Linzess” … Why?

April was IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) Awareness Month … say what?  I guess the other 11 months no one “gives a s**t!”

I know this because I was watching TV the other night … and I paid particular attention to the commercials.  Something very few people and no dogs ever do.

That’s when I noticed an ad for Linzess … an irritable bowel-constipation syndrome medication.  A Clio Award for Excellence in Advertising should be given to the Linzess VP of Gastroenterology Marketing for this ad.

They “dare to go where no other agency has gone” … right into our damn bathrooms.

And since we’re now deep in scatology here, we need to insert a “Big Butt” into their marketing message.

As far as Seriously Absurd’s “crack” staff is concerned … it  totally misses the point.

Here’s the “scoop” … or maybe it’s the “poop!”


Linzess takes us into the bathroom of folks who obviously are quite “stuck up!”

Not only do we get to watch them in action … sitting on the throne in their PJ’s … it’s obvious they’re doing a “number two!”

Yes … taking a dump …  and BTW … that’s gotta be the cleanest bathroom I’ve ever seen!

Then ya gotta ask … “Who actually wears pajama sets today? … What is this?  A 1950’s sitcom with Dick & Laura or Ozzie & Harriet sleeping in twin beds?”


To bring us into today … the sitter … or do we dare say “s***ter” … then pops off the throne … “flashes” a winning smile … and gives us a Tiger Woods fist pump.

C’mon, man!  That’s a sacred fist pump … part of winning the Masters … throwing a TD pass … hitting a winner at the US Open.  Not for taking a crap!

I know IBS’ers probably think otherwise … but couldn’t we just witness one of their “all knowing little smiles” instead of a fist pump?


But the “nugget” of their message … OMG I’m having so much “pun-fun” … is that the poor IBS-C sufferer is now “saving time” … a quick dump is obviously something that isn’t part of their “life repertoire.”

Saving time?  WTF?

Read the “Game of Thrones” … yuk-yuk-yuk – pun intended … do the NYT’s Sunday crossword puzzle … or try some of those newer “brain games.”

Turn a problem into an opportunity!

Then you’ll save money … avoid all the horrible side effects … I know I read 100’s of negative comments for Linzess … and fight off dementia or Alzheimer’s by exercising that other end of your anatomy.

Just sayin’ …

10 thoughts on ““Say Yes to Linzess” … Why?

  1. Wonderfull! Who needs Linzess? I laughed so hard I had to go to the john!

    • Great … it worked … to Hell with fiber when you can literally laugh the shit out of your bowels!

      An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but evidently a good belly laugh a day may be keep those tube clean!

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Michael …

  2. I suppose we should be grateful no one ever managed to turn television into smell-a-vision….and that wild, free-range punsters like yourself can still roam free across the blogosphere!
    I’d say “kudos” but some folks might think I meant kudus…a species of African spiral-horned antelope which, given the right angle of attack, can also irritate the heck out of your bowels should they sneak up on you from behind….

    • Well, TeeL … may the Kudus in your life be few and far between! I think I’ll take my chances with a “Russkie Pile Driver” … which would be a 12 ounce mug of crushed ice, Vodka, a squeeze of lime and a hefty pour of prune juice … then head for the “head” so to speak …

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. HAHAHA!

    I admit I thought you made Linzess up, mais non! I Googled Linzess, and there was the commercial, just as you described it with fist pump and all. You captured it perfectly.
    “Linzess wants you to “Say yes to Linzess” for more frequent and complete bowel movements.” Ay dios! Only $30 for 90 days of toilet bliss.

    • Hi Lee … no, no, no … there’s too much absurdity out in the world for me to tax my brain and creative juices trying to make up this “shit” … oops, pun intended!

      First time I saw the commercial and the punky little timid joyless fist pump, I dropped it in my blog queue line! Too good to resist!

      Glad you liked it and thanks for reading and commenting

      • It’s a wise person, Laurie, who knows when “to hold ’em and when to fold ’em” … thanks for reading and recognizing Steve Hlavac’s “pun-ability!”

    • OMG Steve … I’ve been “punned up” by the Master Punster!

      Thanks for reading and submitting a comment that brought Laurie Tillet to a complete “Pun Surrender.”

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