La Cucaracha 2.0

When someone mentions the word “cockroaches” your first reaction probably isn’t literary, musical or cinematic … or even thoughts of China.

In music the lowly cockroach appeared in the early 1800’s in a Spanish folksong … “La Cucaracha” … alluding to the fact that the poor roach could only walk in circles and couldn’t escape impending doom because its hind legs were missing!

Cockroaches in Hollywood were featured in the first “Men in Black” … a starring role as a secret agent alien roach played by Vincent D’Onofrio.

In literary circles, the most famous cockroaches are “Archy” … of “Archy and Mehitabel” fame … created by American humorist Don Marquis (early 1900’s) … and Kafka’s man cum cockroach novella, “Metamorphosis” published in 1915.

If all the cockroaches in the world were as likeable and poetic as Archy they wouldn’t have the PR problem they have now … and they might even be as welcome in our homes as our puppies and kitties.

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But no one has bigger plans for cockroaches than our friends in Asia … the Chinese … big, big plans … lotsa roaches … farms of roaches … housing billions and billions of the little creatures!

Whataya gonna do with billions of cockroaches?  An invasion force?  Possibly a new form of “biological/germ warfare?  Food for the masses?

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How about … “None of the above.”

After much research, Seriously Absurd has learned that China’s got all eyes forward … planning for the future.  They “now own” … notice the clever use of an anagram … the darkest corner of the Cockroach Market!

And China’s roaches aren’t covered under the brilliant Trump Tariff War!

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Nope … in China they’re not eating roaches to fight anticipated food shortages … they’re raising billions of roaches to thwart garbage disposal problems and methane emissions resulting from food waste.

Talk about the cycle of life … a billion roaches devour 50 tons of food waste paste daily while housed inside a warm, humid, dark space … these happy roaches make even more happy roaches at an incredible rate … and when they’ve “bought the farm,” the ground up cockroaches are a high protein food source for other farm animals.

Hold on to your “Roach Motels … there’s more!

The largest “Roach Farm” in China uses over 6 billion crushed roaches a year for the pharmaceutical firm “Gooddoctor” as the main ingredient in their “healing potion” which is distributed to over 4,000 hospitals in China.

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Think about that the next time one of those crunchy pests pops under your shoe in the middle of the night.

Just sayin’ …

5 thoughts on “La Cucaracha 2.0

  1. Ah, my mis-spent northern youth! I always thought “roaches” were the tiny remnants of Zig-Zag-wrapped marijuana cigarettes. Then I came to Florida.

  2. Don Ricardo, you work so hard to find disgusting material and have outdone yourself this time! I am charmed by the Gregor cartoons though. Thanks for spoiling my breakfast and making me laugh.

  3. several omgs! i have not received seriously absurd for years! were you on hiatus or did my new iphone somehow pluck it out of the ether? hilarious article; i actually read archly and mehitobel when i was about 6 or 7–my parents’ bookshelf. i may have missed some subtext but not as much as that same year when i read Maugham’s Of Human Bondage. I have missed your silliness.

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