Spicer’s new dance partners? Jesus and Trump!

It’s tough to feel sorry for the folks who’ve found themselves twisted-up in the webs of deceit of our current Reality Show White House tenant.

But never fear!  One of Seriously Absurd’s faves may have landed on his feet!

Sean Spicer … ex-White House crowd hallucinating ass-kissing-grunt … emerged from the Trump Swamp for what some call his “Big Chance!”

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Only in America can we “Make America Great Again” and invite someone with low enough self-esteem to make a television buffoon of himself … ironically on a TV-Reality Show.

Watched by millions and cheered by a few … Spicey made his DWTS (Dancing with the Stars) debut for Season #28.

And once again as with “all things Trump” … controversy erupted.

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Before Spicer could get to the dance floor … the public outrage over his past enveloped the show.

Evidently Spicer’s proclamations about Inauguration attendance … hiding in the bushes to avoid press contact … and, his use of “alternative facts” concerning Trump … are still sore points with people who can’t abide our bone-spurred leader’s 13,435 lies while in the Offal Office.

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For his “Inaugural DWTS Cha-Cha,” The Spice-man stuffed himself into a lime green ruffled body shirt with at least 9” of codpiece crammed in his crotch!  No wonder one of the judge’s commented that “he appeared wooden in his movements!”

Most watchers swore he looked more like a dancing-lime-sherbet-sugar-cone than a hot, sexy Latino dancer!

In spite of rotten scores … but thanks to the Fates … Spicey returned for round #2 where he danced with steps that unbelievably resembled a set of high octane moves that one judge said … “Looked strangely like a Tango!”

By now, Spicey was a growing internet sensation … something of a cause célèbre … and back for week #3.

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Now boosted by Tweet Storms from Evangelist for the Stars, Evangie Pastor Mike “I-no-longer-deep-fry-squirrel” Huckabee, his daughter Sarah Huckabee “It’s-more-fun-at-Fox” Sanders … and The Donald “Where’s my Sharpie-when-I-need-it” … Spice-man gathered a New Testament throng of worshippers who voted him into rounds 3 & 4 of DWTS.

Swayed by “alternative dance facts” … surging Evangies digitally stuffed the electoral air waves voting for Sean … swearing he was the 13th disciple sent by Jesus to demonstrate that he … like our President …  can lead us to the “Holy Land of Dance” without a speck of talent.

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Seriously Absurd has heard that those wild and crazy Evangie Trick-or-Treaters are dropping traditional Holy Land themed costumes like small pox infested blankets … instead opting in droves for Spicey’s DWTS costumes … codpiece included … batteries not.

Just sayin’ …

6 thoughts on “Spicer’s new dance partners? Jesus and Trump!

  1. No fair, Ricky Ricardo! This one made me spit out a perfectly brewed mouthful of Sunday morning caffeine due to uncontrollable laughter. And it contains one of your best paragraphs ever….

    “For his “Inaugural DWTS Cha-Cha,” The Spice-man stuffed himself into a lime green ruffled body shirt with at least 9” of codpiece crammed in his crotch! No wonder one of the judge’s commented that “he appeared wooden in his movements!.”

  2. I liked “twisted up in the webs of deceit”.

    How does a person then dance with the stars? All twisted up.

    Perhaps he should have sat that one out.

  3. poor spicy–i saw a 30-second spot of DWTS featuring him–in the green–and i actually experienced a second of compassion. then i shrugged it off.

  4. You really know how to cut a rug out form under a guy who’s trying to distract you from his inability to dance with bright, ill-fitting clothing! I guess he figured that hiding in the bushes didn’t work?

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