Don’t ya just hate Christmas Blogs before Thanksgiving?

There’s a juicy pre-Christmas news item floating around outer space … and the internet … and it’s being linked to our total destruction.

No … it’s not the odds that jolly old St. Nick will get stuck in a chimney … causing “Christmas Interruptus.”

Or, an out-of-control-Rudolph will crash his reindeer team into one of the 128 million pieces of space debris now being tracked by CNEOS … our Center for Near Earth Object Studies.

Yes … the US Gov’t really does have a Center dedicated to tracking all that orbiting space s**t.

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Recently the CNEOS folks confirmed that there are currently 26 “Near-Earth” objects scheduled to pass us in the next 60 days!

Where are the Waste Management trucks when we need them?

Should we create a Space Waste Force to go along with You-Know-Whose US Space Force and start bagging up all this garbage?

If Elon Musk can launch a Tesla into orbit … can’t we get a garbage truck up there and scoop up some of this space s**t?

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The space rock causing the most consternation indeed will pass by earth early evening of Christmas Eve … Santa beware!

The Brit tabloid “Express” seems to be most intrigued with this impending Christmas Doom’s Day scenario … some totally “stoned” Brit sources estimate the size of the Rock as a tumbling World Trade Center.

According to some other Brits not “tripping” at their keyboards … the size of the space rock is somewhere between a Red Double Decker London Bus … and a VW Bug.

Either way … that’s a BFA … “Big F***ing Asteroid!”

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The real question is … “How close is close?”

All the space-rock-killer-hullabaloo is sparked over the asteroid known as 216258 2006 WH1 … pretty catchy name … don’t-ya think “Space Hellion” … or “Destruct-O” would be better?

But fear not … CNEOS has been tracking this “Space Puppy” since 2006 … that’s the past 13 years … so it’s hardly a sneak attack!

And according to NASA … though the BFA will “pass by earth” … it will be at a distance of approximately 3.6 million miles.

3.6 million?  That’s a lotta miles between earth and the BFA … even if they call it a “Near Earth Object!”

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So just shut up Brits … enuf with the Christmas Doomsday Conspiracy … work on your “Brexit-Exit” … and LEAVE SANTA ALONE!

Just sayin’ …

6 thoughts on “Don’t ya just hate Christmas Blogs before Thanksgiving?

  1. But Huss Puppy! The most respected – or at least the funniest – “space” expert of all time, the late Douglas Adams, author of ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,’ put that whole 3.6 million mile thing even more simply.

    ““Space,” wrote Adams, “is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.” (Here in the U.S. of A, of course, we’d substitute “pharmacy” for “chemist’s” but why quibble?)

    Anyway, that’s why you and I should forget about ‘space s**t’ and Santa and just stick to our typewriters and laptops. They have “space bars” and that means we can order enough gin or vodka or pan galactic gargle blasters to forget about impending doom as we merrily type away….

    • Hey TeeL … Thanks for reading …good juxtaposition of “Hitchhiker” with Santa and CNEOS … if I’d been doing a “Deep Space 9” type of dive, I coulda thrown in a “Star Trek” or an “Orville” comparison … funny, when I read “space bar” I thought you were headed for a reference to the space bar on my keyboard … then I got a face blast from your reference to Adams’ favorite drink … the pan galactic gargle blaster … puts Long Island Iced Teas to shame.

    • Hi Lee … That was Mari’s favorite line, too … I thought it was really over the top that this Brit Tabloid turned the CNEOS research/article into an internet scare scene … who knew we have nerds tracking all the space garbage plus the naturally occurring garbage … sure hope it works and we can avoid an Armageddon feature length movie ending!

  2. If Santa ends up 3.6 million miles from Earth on Christmas Eve, then asteroid or not, no one’s getting any Christmas cheer from the Jolly Ol’ Elf …

    Good writing Richard!

    • Hey Mike … Thanks for reading and for the compliment … I thought about that but for the sake of my readers’ time-on-task I kept it short and thought to keep Santa at about 500 ft above rooftops … that way he didn’t need thermal gear and oxygen support for himself and the reindeer … of course there’s always Xmas magic and they could then avoid any complications … hope your T’Day is fun relaxing and family fracas free!

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