“Dear Santa” … 2019

Dear Santa,

I was just wondering … did you and Jesus hang out with each other when you were kids … even though Jesus was a Jew?

I’ve been studying all about Jesus in Sunday school and they tell me to believe in Him.  But when I tell them I believe in you … my Sunday school teacher gives me this weird look … and, doesn’t say anything.

I dunno.  Both of you have magical powers … and you both do nice things for people.

As for magic … Jesus had it goin’ for Him.  They say He fed a ton of people on a loaf of bread and a few pieces of farm raised catfish.  And, there was that one dead dude … Lazarus … and Jesus made him come back alive … which was way cool.

I think He may have tricked His disciples when He did the “walking-on-the-water” thing.  But that’s okay.


I know you have that sleigh … those reindeer … can fly all over the entire world … but Jesus walked everywhere … or rode a donkey.

You have an army of elves helping you … but He only had twelve guys helping him.

They say Jesus lives in a place called “heaven” … and knows everything about us … whether we’re good or bad.  You live in the North Pole … and know whether we’ve been naughty or nice.  Is that the same thing?

They wrote a book about each of you.  Yours is a lot shorter and easier to read.

Yours truly …

Peter Paul Joseph

P.S. – I think I like you better even though you both wear weird clothes … at least you bring me toys.


Dear PPJ,

Isn’t your house the one built on a rock?  I think I remember that one … you have a really cool chimney … easy to go down and get back up!   

Nah … I didn’t hang with Jesus when he was a kid … he was a little before me so I didn’t get to know him.  

I heard he was a pretty cool dude.

He was young when he chased those bankers out of what was then called “Wall Street.”  We could sure use a guy like Him now.  It seems that everyone who believes in Him nowadays also believes in money … war … and being mean to poor people.

Pretty stupid if you ask me.

BTW … I didn’t see a list with your letter.  If not, it’ll just be potluck for you … I just grab whatever’s on top of the sack when I swing by.  

I’m hearing rumors from corporate that if I don’t “deliver” this year, I’ll be outsourced … and something called “Prime” will take over. 

Best you send me a list.

Santa …

P.S. – It’s okay to believe in both of us … just sayin’ … SC