“I like my Corona with a slice of truth … not lime!”

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“Hi … Tony Romo, former quarterback in the NFL … here on the beach under my Corona umbrella enjoying the sun, the sand, the waves, and my Corona … with a slice of lime.

“We’re offering special pricing today because crazy Americans think they’re protecting themselves from the ‘Coronavirus’ … by not drinking Corona beer!”

In a recent poll, 38% of beer swillers nationwide have totally sworn off Corona fearing they will contract the virus.  AB InBev, owner of the Corona brand, has lost $170 million in profits to date.

Advice released from President Trump … “I’m the King of Branding … I think those Corona guys need to make their beer more patriotic … they need Tom Brady to join their team for a newer more patriotic beer … ‘Brady Beer.’  Screw Romo … he was always a loser!”

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“Hi … Ling Lang Lee here in San Francisco’s China Town … standing in front of my vacant Chinese restaurant ready to serve incredible and healthy food at deep discount prices … because you crazy people think I’m spreading the ‘Coronavirus’ serving you egg rolls and General Tsao’s chicken … both of which are totally American rip-offs of Chinese food.

“There’s nothing from China in any of our authentic Chinese dishes … our foods are totally ‘dog-free.’

All of our cooks and wait staff are at least 3rd generation American citizens.  They think there really was a General Tsao.”

President Trump has thrown his full weight … uhoh … behind this appeal to support America’s Chinese ghettos.

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“Hi … Detective Joe Friday … in LA with a special Public Service Announcement

“The latest batch of Angel Dust flooding the streets of Hollywood is contaminated with Coronavirus.

“If you bring your stash to the West Hollywood station … we’ll be glad to take it off your hands  … no questions asked.  If you feel uncomfortable bringing your dope to the station … give us your address and we’ll come right over.  Do the right thing!”

It’s rumored that President Trump has nominated the entire West LA Police Department for a Medal of Freedom Award stating … “They stand proudly with Rush Limbaugh.”

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“Good evening … this is your President speaking … you’ve got nothing to fear but fear itself.  I’ve launched an all out Twitter Assault guaranteed to destroy this Corona-beery-thingie.

“I’ve also appointed my favorite ass kisser, Vice President Mike Pence, to head my Coronovirus Task Force.

I alone will make sure no one from my administration makes any statement that in any way contradicts what I say about this strain of flu … which is little more than a common cold.”

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Me … ?  I’m stickin’ with a slice of truth in my Corona.

Just sayin’ …

4 thoughts on ““I like my Corona with a slice of truth … not lime!””

  1. Bravo, Huss Puppy! If I liked beer, I’d dash out for a case of Corona (the beer as opposed to the virus).
    Sadly, beer ain’t my thing so I’ll just flush my shares of AB InBev down the Donald JOHN. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

  2. You’ve captured the whole ball of wax! Thanks, don Ricardo. You got a laugh out of me despite the current situation.

  4. Please self-quarantine!

    Why?

    Because I know you typed the first draft on your old, virus-laden Smith-Corona typewriter.

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