Pandemic Ads … and a Huge WTF?

I’m sorry … but if I hear one more US company lecture me in their TV spot that “We’re all in this together” … AND “We’ve got your back” … I’m gonna “Full Elvis” my TV.

Blam-blam-blam … right thru the flat screen!

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There’re lots of reasons I want this pile of “pandem-ic-shit” to end.

Number One is … the end of 1,000’s of deaths … then there’s our own “Special-Needs-Waddling-Kinda-Talking-Covid-19” Donald Trump Pet haunting us 24-7.

The possibility that our Hydroxi-Moron-in-Chief has no idea of what to do or the will to defeat this “Silent Enemy” is another.

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But, please Clio Gods of the advertising world … spare us the daily MadAve horse hockey dump!

Telling us “we’re all in this together” is blatant hypocrisy … especially if we’re pushed to use our personally stamped Donald Trump Pandemic Relief Check toward the purchase of your 2020 Kia Sorrento.

At this point, I’d rather subject myself to those ASPCA tortured puppy ads … brought to me by that heart breaker … Sarah MacLachlan … than face the totally specious COVID-19 messages trotted in front of me by auto manufacturers … and that Blue Bear Family wiping their fuzzy asses with super soft Charmin … who also BTW claim to have my “Back-Side.”

Don’t get me wrong … I got nothing against Kia … and in fact I kinda like fuzzy bears.  But tying them to this C-19 nightmare … and telling me “we’re all in this together?”

C’mon, Man!

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If it’s not the ads … every day we’re reminded by the pundits “We’re in uncharted waters” … but the closest water near me is my backyard pool … and I’m pretty sure it’s charted … at least for tax purposes.

If that’s not a problem … we’re also told “We’re facing a tsunami” … and the recovery won’t be some “V-shaped quick-fix chart” … but a rather long-slow-up-and-down-recurring-problem-mapping-will-this-ever-end-mega-situation.

Then here’s the killer … “Don’t Touch Your Face!”

According to medical researchers … on average I probably touch my face 16X per hour.  Given I have the attention span of a gnat … I’m sure I’m off the chart on that “touch scale.”

So let’s settle on 20X … which would be 480X a day.

My reaction?  It’s gotta be way more than that!

So I sure hope they’re right that wearing a mask actually keeps your from touching your face … ’cause I need “biggly” help!

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Where will all this end?

I actually miss the drug ads with their “you could die” side effects … the most hated insurance company spots … Progressive and Flo … Geico and their Aussie Lizard … and that stupid-f**king-image-pecking-Emu from Liberty Mutual!

Just sayin’ …

4 thoughts on “Pandemic Ads … and a Huge WTF?

    • Or give up TV completely, which would be a more effective prescription for lowering blood pressure than any of those being advertised,

  1. LOL, Little Richard! But you missed my own, personal pet “public service notice” peeve….A (presumably) nice lady from NPR all over the airwaves here in south Florida telling us to be sure to clean all surfaces with “disinfectant wipes” and to use hand-sanitizer about a zillion times a day…What she DOESN’T tell us is WHERE THE #@%!& WE CAN BUY ANY #@%!& DISINFECTANT WIPES, let alone any hand sanitizer. They ain’t on any store shelves down here, anyway.

  2. Yes, Richard,
    Lately, we’re on the same pandemic wavelength.
    I, too, am heartened by Lexus and Cadillac and Ford and even South Korean KIA, ‘feelin’ my pain” so much, they’re gonna get me further into debt by $20,000, $50,000, or even $100,000! So, then they and I are even MORE closely bonded, and we really are (until I pay off this friggin’ car loan!!) IN THIS TOGETHER!

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