Mm … Mm… Good! Soup gets an attitude

“Soup every day makes a super you!”

So the slogan goes.

But Trump’s put plain old everyday 1950’s styled sodium packed tasteless canned soup back on the map … and as he usually does … for all the wrong reasons.

No longer are we charmed by the “Mm … Mm … Good!” and the rosy cheeked child extolling Campbell’s soups!

Instead, now we have the President-from-Hell promoting soup as a “wartime hazard” second only to the IED’s perfected by ISIS, the Taliban and our garden variety international and domestic terrorists.


Bags and bags of these weapons … according to our Conspiracy-Theorist-in-Chief … are launched as deadly missiles at our intrepid police … and according to Prexy Whiney-Pants they can really hurt you if you’re hit by one of them … “worse than a brick!”

Wait … have you seen the regalia these urban enforcers wear as they face-off against street anarchists?

It’s not like there’s any exposed body parts … these tough guys are hooded, shielded, helmeted, body-armored, steel-toed-jack-booted, heavily gloved, automatic weapon toting gladiators.

They’re not dressed for a “day at the beach.”

And … at least so far … the cans of soup aren’t fired from Bazookas, rocket launchers or cannons.


According to behind-the-lines field research three major soup brands are reportedly favored by the “street thugs:”  Campbell’s for the Cammo Wearers … Progresso for the Progressives … and Chunky for NFL African-American supporters.

It’s also rumored that Jerry Seinfeld’s rushed an updated “Soup Nazi – The Mini-Series” into production … sponsored by Whole Foods/Amazon and Jeff Bezos … a real billionaire.


Independent food chains quickly jumped in the “Soup’s On Pool” with new label lines:  Creamy Military Mushroom … Very Mussolini Minnestrone … Cobblestone & Potato Soup … Improvised Egg Drop (IED) … and, Vlad’s Ruble Red Borscht.

Since he’s sold all his bank holdings … cash rich Warren Buffet’s become a leading “Soup-vestor” and dumped his cash into canned soup.  According to Buffet, the canned soup run caused by Pandemic hoarding will be “a drop in the pan” compared to this “weaponized soup” … shelves are already looking bare.

Executors for the Andy Warhol estate have already boosted their Campbell’s art prices by 20%.  According to them … Andy’s spinning in his grave … thrilled at making money posthumously from Donald Trump’s stupidity.

It was widely known that Andy detested Trump … especially that hair!


I sure hope these protestors are super shoppers getting all their soup on BOGO’s … or better yet buying the store brand!

Bang ‘em with the cheap stuff …

Just sayin’ …