Re-emergence is Hard to Do … Gen-X Brood Cicadas Come Out

Life’s been a bit tough for Brood X Cicadas,.  Witness …


Re-emergence is hard to do …

We think we had it tough emerging after our COVID isolation … switch places with our friendly Brood X Cicadas!

Brood X’ers did 17 years underground in “the hundred acre wood” … soft loamy dirt with lotsa roots for leisurely munching … a little piece of paradise and a good cicada larva life.

Perfect for 17 year gestation periods.  What could go wrong?

Cicada #1:  Where are we?  What happened to the woods?

Cicada #2:  Holy cicada crap … now it’s a 100 acres of asphalt.  Where’s Pooh Bear?

C#1:  Kee-r-i-i-i-st … where’re our millions of brothers and sisters?  All I see is Joni Mitchell’s “paved-over-paradise-parking-lot” … a few scrawny trees in a waste land!  What’s a “Dairy Queen” anyway?

C#2:  Maybe we made a wrong turn just before we popped out.  Uh oh … what’s that monstro rollin’ toward us?  Aargh … frump, frump … crunch!

Super-sexed … but no pecker …

Cicada #1:  Can you believe?  We wait 17 years to get laid and now this happens.  There oughta be a law!

Cicada #2:  Quit whining and keep shrugging … we got no chance until we’re outta this muck and get some new skin.

C1:  I feel weird … kinda like I’m already horny … really horny … you’re even looking good!

C2:  Hey, muck breath … take a look in the mirror … “the cicada fungus is amung us!”  You may feel horny but your “horn” ain’t beepin’ if ya know what I mean.  Half your body’s missing … and I hate to break it to ya … it’s the “horn-half” you’re missin’!

“Let them eat Cicada cakes”

In a wicked bow to Marie Antoinette and the French Revolution, folks are baking Brood X Cakes.  Take this one made with chocolate … which we all know makes everything taste better.

And I do mean everything!

The recipe’s a complicated “made-from-scratch” double chocolate cake slathered with cream cheese amaretto chocolate icing … what’s not to like?

But wait … where’re the effing Cicadas?  They’re artfully placed around the base of the cake and pressed into the “chocolatey” top.

That’s a blatant “Where’s the beef?” violation if I’ve ever seen one!

WTF … if you’re gonna feed ‘em a Cicada cake … bake and grind up the little suckers and make your own “Cicada flour” … now we’re talkin’ “real Cicada Cake!”

Otherwise shop local and pick up a “Duncan Hines mix” … cicadas not included!


Or … if you’re into food adventures like my faves … Martha, Rachel, Ina, and Giada … fondue fork the lively little boogers … and trench them through your own bubbly Vesuvius of hot chocolate sauce!

Yummm … chocolate covered cicada … probably tastes like chicken.

Just sayin’ …