“As De-Worm Turns”

A horse of another color trotted across the Far Side Pasture, leaned over the fence, and whispered to a decidedly ordinary cow, “You heard the latest?”

“Latest what?” said the cow as she contentedly chewed her cud wishing she could dump her latest milk load on the Carnation Condensed Milk people.

“It’s all over the news,” said the horse stamping his hoof mimicking his TV idol Mr. Ed, as he struggled to count to three.

“Even the Fox News Big Shits are screamin’ about it.  That’s right! I’m talkin’ the Ingram-Hannity-Carlson-Tri-Namic-Trio of lyin’ Cretins.

“Seems that the Mississi-slippi South’s risin’ agin.’  Those Huckleberries’re suckin’ down major loads of our worm medicine … Invermectin.

“Musta read about it on ‘The Line’ … and, now everyone’s usin’ it as a surefire cure for the COVID!

“You heard about it here first … from me … at Bill ‘Old Reilly’s Early Retirement Farm!’”

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Info from Seriously Absurd farmland field reporters indicate that Invermectin use by “Trumpworld Designer COVID Death Drugs du Jour” has already emptied shelves in neighborhood feed stores and tractor outlets … and forced the FDA to issue a special warning:

Folks … you’re not a cow … you’re not a horse …  Invermectin is NOT safe to treat COVID.

It did not specify whether you were a horse’s ass … or maybe just an ass!

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It seems the anti-vaxers of our nation have abandoned the “Tried and Untrue” light bulb up-the-ass, self-induced-hemorrhoidectomy.

Plus they’ve vomited up all the hydroxychloroquine along with most of their stomach lining.

So, the only way for Trumpers to maintain their patriotic anti-vaxer cred is to swallow large quantities of a de-wormer which could cause dizziness, seizures and confusion … apparently no biggies for MAGA Hatters.

But other side affects like sudden drops in blood pressure, hepatitis and a yearning for gravy on French fries could be a tad more concerning.

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According to one Mississippian farmer, who only gave us his first name … “Dell” … “Ah ain’t puttin’ that damn vaccine in mah ahrm whinst I don’t know what it is that’s in it!  Cain’t trust the damn gubmint.

“But I read that there label on that ‘ivecto-mo-cidal’ stuff so ah know what it is ahm a swallowin’ … it’s got that there STROMECTOL which is the killin’ stuff …  along with a bunch of other dead stuff … and some citric acid … which comes from mah oranges I grow right here in Mississippi.

“And that’s pure vitamin C!”

Folks … this is where we discover there’s no helping stupid!

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But if you really want to know what’s safe to use for COVID … avoid anything  approved by a celebrity chef, huckster TV preacher … or that pillow guy currently being sued in numerous courts and that ex-president “you-know-who” … and go get your damn vaccine!

Just sayin’ …

2 thoughts on ““As De-Worm Turns”

  1. Here in Orlando, supposedly a blue area of Florida, the Palmer Feed Store has sold out of it ivermectin supplies, and so has the supplier. Several cases of ivermectin poisoning have been reported from the emergency rooms and walk-in clinics. Saddd.

  2. If you can’t find any at the feed stores Richard let me know I can get you truck loads I’ve been using that stuff 4 years for systemic miticide on plants. Hey maybe I should hang around the back door at the Republican Party headquarters and make some money and help out natural selection at the same time:-)

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