Flori-DUH … already known as the land of thrills, tourist traps and scams … is offering up a new fantasy playground.
Located in the shadow of Disney World … the greatest “pretend world” ever known … Flori-DUH’s Freedom Land will occupy the site previously known as “The Holy Land Experience” … where Jesus and his friends recently roamed.
But then the White Jesus was fired … the crowd of White wandering angels took early retirement packages.
And when the Three White Wise Guys landed a late night cable gig … the White Moneylenders who owned the holy grounds had no choice but to lock the gates and bail on the pretend Christians who wandered the tribal deserts located just off I-4 at the Millennial Mall Exit.
It was just another injustice suffered by the White Men of America!
Enter Freedom Land … a perfect salve to soothe the egos of the rapidly vanishing “All White-You Have No Rights-Majority… a perfect venue for all the White folks in the USofA pissing and moaning ‘cause they think they’ve lost their God Given Freedoms!
Their “America First” campaign slogan morphed into a new chant … “Me First … Me Always … All Ways Me … Me Forever” … but a Democrat still got elected President!
What better way to enjoy unfettered narcissism … bullying and lying … alternative facts … anti-whatever-whenever-forever … than to treat your entire family to Flori-DUH’s “Freedom Land” … where everything’s “My Way and Not Your Way.”
At Freedom Land … the main attraction is “Con Man Hall” … home to an animatronics display of the top 20 scam artists in US history.
Here you catch-up with the Trump’s … and their penny-ante family plans to bilk folks before, during, and after his presidency.
Bernie Madoff … who made off with 64.8 billion before his empire collapsed.
Charles Ponzi … who was so successful they named the “Ponzi Scheme” after him.
And who says “Crime don’t pay!” Just ask Frank Abagnale the con man who has his own bio-pic … “Catch Me if you Can” … starring Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio. En lieu of jail time, Abagnale joined the FBI to share his forgery knowledge and skills with the guys who caught him!
You’ll also discover the bygone “Snake Oil Salesman” … he’s alive and well at Freedom Land’s COVID19 Pavilion … where you get up-close-and-personal with everything you never wanted to know about COVID Cures!
Don’t be shy … everyone’s loading up on Hydroxychloroquine and Invermectin.
Waddle up to the COVID19 Bar … load your Nebulizer with vodka or rum … and mist away with your cute little pink umbrella!
If you’re a real tough guy … snort straight bleach … or mix it with a shot of methanol! As the hairs inside your nose singe and teeny-weeny blisters appear, never fear … “Be a man and Suck it up, Buttercup!”
All this and more awaits you at Freedom Land!
The land of no “gubmint” … no masks … no approved vaccines!
Who wants safety inspections for the rides?
Who needs lines when you can “duke it out” or “shoot it out” to settle who gets the next seat on the “Straight-to-Hell-Express!”
And on your way out, don’t forget your free “Screamin’ Eagle” iron-on-skin-patch … smack-dab on your forehead … “NOT VACCINATED AND PROUD OF IT!”
Talk about a great obit photo!
Just sayin’ …
(A big shout-out to one of my staunchest supporters, Tom Lloyd. Tom planted the seed for this Blog … and then dared me to “make something of it!” Thanks, TeeL!)